Take A Breath, A Slow Breath

Two days until court date. It's hard to keep my focus on anything, but the non-stop vigil by the computer for several weeks has worn me out. My brain's going 90 miles an hour, but my body is exhausted. We had friends visiting for a couple of days, which was great distraction, but also more exhausting. I'm busier this week with other things and not checking the e-mail so often. I'm not sure if that's any easier--my brain still thinks about those girls whether I'm in front of the computer or not. The boys started their summer swimming lessons today. James had a blast, but Tommy decided he was not going to enjoy it and did not like his teacher so he screamed for me for the last ten minutes. Not exactly distracting or relaxing. Hopefully he'll get used to his teacher soon so the next two weeks isn't more stressful. He's done swimming lessons many times before, but it was the first time I didn't have to swim with him and he was alone with the teacher. It was funny that the teacher put up with him screaming, "Leave me alone!" in her ear for ten minutes. If I was her, I would have dumped him off on his mother and advised her to keep him out of the pool for the next ten years. I guess that's why I'm not a teacher and why I take the boys there for swim lessons. James and Tommy's different reactions to new situations definitely show their individual personalities. Did they really have the same parents?

Book Recommendation

I just read a very interesting book that shows a family's struggle with two adopted children who have various forms of attachment disorder. It's called "What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know: Healing Your Child's Wounded Heart" by Kate Cremer-Vogel, MS, LCPC and Dan and Cassie Richards. The parents write this book along with a therapist, who adds her observations. The children were adopted before anyone knew about attachment disorder or how to deal with it. The book does not put blame on anyone; it tells a poignant story, integrating the parents' childhood experiences as well as the childrens' pre-adoption histories to show how they struggle to connect, understand, and heal. The therapist offers useful suggestions on dealing with children with attachment disorder. This is a good resource for adoptive parents and families. I would recommend this along with Melissa Fay Greene's book, "There is No Me Without You". The book is available through mountainridgepublishing.com.

Coping

It's been disappointing to know we'll be sitting around for another two weeks before any news comes in. If they would have just stuck with the original October court date, I would have been happy, but because they tried to move us up and our hopes were raised, if things get moved back after August 6 we'll be devastated. Why did they do that? One of my friends has offered to plan a baby shower before I leave so at least we have that to plan. But I don't know if I should actually get excited about it since everything depends on what happens August 6. It's hard to keep my mind on other things--I just see those girls everywhere. Everyone in our adoption group is down except one family who did pass court this week. With all the bad news, we can't even seem to cheer each other up much these days. We don't even have updates or pictures to look forward to in the meantime. We'll have some company next week so maybe that will help pass the time.

Another Change

Well, our new court date is now August 6, with travel at the end of August or first week of September. Such a letdown. It's the last possible day that the court is open before the rainy season closure. Our agency is pretty positive we will pass that day because there's nothing else to wait on, but I'm not counting on anything. At least airfares may be better by then. Now we have two more weeks of waiting. I'm getting sick on this roller coaster--I never liked them anyway, but this one has too many bumps!

Another Bump in the Road

Well, our court date came and went and we did not get through. The clearance papers came in, but no one could sign them or something like that. I wasn't very clear on what the reason was, but we're still waiting for clarification. There was no news today, which made it even more difficult. None of the waiting families from our agency passed either. Our agency thought we could still make it through this week and then the travel dates would remain the same, but if we hear nothing, how would we know? I'm not sure why we're not getting daily updates from Ethiopia, but there's nothing I can do to prepare until I know we passed court. It's been a very frustrating two days, not knowing if I should start packing to go in two weeks or if things will get moved back...

Waiting for Big News

Tomorrow's the big court date, which we don't know if it will actually happen because we never heard whether the clearance papers came in or not. It's a big day one way or the other. I hope the news comes in early so I'm not sitting in front of the computer, willing it to send me a message all day. We had a family day out in Yellowstone National Park today, which was a much needed break. Whatever happens is out of our hands now so we'll only hope for the best.

The Mad Dash

Ok, so I've been on the phone and on the computer the last two days trying to figure out flights, dates, etc. Apparently August is a terrible time to be traveling, especially coming back to the U.S. But what would our experience be like if it wasn't complicated every step of the way? Finally I think I found the travel agency that can get us there and back. A dear friend has offered to go with me, which is incredible. It's mostly for sure. Now, if only we could hear about those clearance papers and whether court will go through Monday or not... Like I said, there's no real experience without drama and complications. I'm still trying not to let my emotions run amok with the thought of holding those precious girls in my arms. With all that has happened to make this even a near possibility shows WE WANT THEM!! Let no one with all their doubts and concerns even question that any longer. We welcome all who want to share in our lives to do so and the rest--well, you'll miss out, but it's your choice. We will not ask for approval; this is our family and that's it, end of discussion. Whatever your reservations are, please leave them at YOUR door because frankly, we're done trying to make other people feel better. It's our turn to be happy and to bond as a family and we don't have the time!!!

Speedy Descent

Well, after months of uncertainty, waiting, bad news, more waiting, our roller coaster ride is coming to a rather sudden end, it seems. We received news today that our court date is now July 21, which is NEXT MONDAY! The only snag would be if they do not receive the clearance papers on the girls in time. If they do, and we pass court, we will be getting the girls in about three weeks! We are in shocked disbelief at this point that our dreams are finally becoming real. My mind can't quite even wrap itself around this news. I thought I had three months to gather things and pack, and now I must move at lightning speed to prepare. I may be the only traveler, but maybe someone will volunteer to come with me, as I can't imagine bringing the girls home alone. My heart is still very guarded, though, and I'm more stressed now than excited as we wait for the official word by Monday. Do I dare hope?